Apologies, it’s been awhile since I last posted. But I have an excuse. Federal Agents raided our offices and confiscated my computer on suspicions of tax fraud. Outrageous! Everyone knows that the Diaspora doesn’t have to pay taxes until 2084 because of slavery reparations.
Not only could I not blog about injustices, blasphemies, and ludicrousies, but I couldn’t visit my favorite site, CuteThingsFallingAsleep.com (I really wish they would get rid of their baby content, everyone visits for the kittens, puppies and occasional bunny.)
But I write today to tell you of my appearance this morning on Don Imus’ new radio program. I arrived just after 6 am and was immediately taken aback by the décor. The walls were painted into one giant confederate flag, and instead of large microphones hanging down, there were nooses. As I entered the studio, Imus’ producer Bernard McGuirk shrieked “One of them! The day of reckoning is upon us!”
I noticed Imus was passed out on his desk beside an open flask labeled “Thinking Juice.” The show had just started so I was surprised to find Mr. Imus in this state. They roused him ever so often, and he would mutter incoherent catchphrases such as “That’s big gov’ment for ya” “Yeeeeee-haw!” and “Please flip to side B” before passing out again.
They introduced me as “A man of great distinction and even greater darkness.” Then for the whole interview they wouldn’t let me talk about the manslaughter conviction of John White or the Sean Bell case or anything else I had on my agenda. Instead they kept asking me if I really thought it made sense that black votes should count for more than 3/5ths.