The reviews are in from my first State of the Union address, and frankly I'm a little disappointed. Some right-wingnuts are saying I was too partisan, blaming Bush for a trillion-dollar deficit I inherited.
As if! Who wouldn't mind inheriting a trillion dollars?
But I can't give up that Dubya punch line--it's my best shtick. So I'm going on the offensive. Tomorrow, at a live press conference, I'm going to blame George W. Bush for:
The two missed free throws I clanged off the rim in yesterday's weekly White House basketball scrimmage.
The towel that was left on the floor in the Oval Office shower. Unh-uh, Michelle--it ain't mine!
The stock market dropping to its lowest point since November of 2008. When I wasn't president yet, I might add.