So the New York Times decided to break a story this week: it turns out that this summer, American kids are fat! Who fucking knew? And it looks like cheese-fries are the bloody culprits. You mean that when kids eat deep-fried, starchy vegetables covered in Velveeta, it's not good for them? And all this time I thought raw fruits and vegetables were to blame.
My God, parents, is it that fucking hard to make your kids a fucking salad? Is it impossible to make them a sandwich without using Wonder Bread? It's a freakishly white, nutrient-depraved sponge-like substance that even pigeons know to stay the fuck away from. Why do you all insist on feeding your children chemical-waste? It's pretty fucking simple. If you serve your kids mutant food, they are going to look like mutants.
Parents, the worst of it is, it's easy to make healthful food. Add a little arugula to your eggs. Dust some truffles onto your kid's grilled cheese and make sure that it's made with local and organic mozzarella cheese, fresh greenhouse tomatoes and rosemary focaccia. Or add some snap peas and baby-carrots to your humble goat cheese risotto.
And another thing, for fucksake, play with your kids. You bred those fucking mongrels, now suck it up, deal with it and play with them. I don't mean play with them like Michael Jackson did you sick perverts. I mean get up off your lazy asses and take them to the park. Play Frisbee, handball, soccer, whatever -- just get them moving and move with them. Maybe, just maybe, you'll even lose a little lard off your ass.
JunkInTrunk:
G0rd0n u r a phony tosser.
7/5/2008 10:37 AMGordon Ramsay:
..... says the lardarse through a mouthful of cheese fries.
7/5/2008 2:24 PMFat Fry Fucker:
You are more entertaining than the real GR, which says a lot.
7/7/2008 9:15 AMThe Voice:
Gordon Ramsay is a faggot that has a stupid rigged show that gave christina the win when petrozza clearly deserved it. Christina could have been a great chef on her own, but it was petrozza that clearly worked to deserve the position. Every other hell's kitchen season was fine until fox decided to switch things up and have their puppet Gordon work a deal out with christina. Let it burn....stupid reality shows and series that simple-minded individuals get sucked into. I'll never watch Hell's kitchen or any other fox network show ever again
7/8/2008 10:10 PMAnn Coulter:
you say fuck a lot.
7/8/2008 10:25 PMAmy Winehouse:
petrozza didn't deserve squat, asswipe
7/8/2008 11:16 PMAmy Winehouse:
and, puhleeeze do not watch Hell's Kitchen again - you're taking Gordo's ratings down, asshole.
7/8/2008 11:18 PMJonas:
So you are back into acting eh? Please sir can I have some more? Ramsey deserves a bit more framing if you ask me, since we hear and see too much of him and he is the world's number one elitist new-ager occultist, at least in that dread category of celebrity.
7/9/2008 11:52 AMJonas:
But to master Ramsey's diction and expression you must first be able to use more English epxressions than bloody, innit? (dont use innit)
7/9/2008 12:10 PMJohn Mayer:
Hey Gordon,
It's been awhile since we've been mean to each other. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I have been enjoying that fish stick recipe you gave me.
JM
7/10/2008 6:57 PMMissy:
Yeah Gordon Ramsay is the bomb and he should come to New Zealand and try a good ground cooked Hāngi - if he knows whats best for him.
7/15/2008 9:49 PMAnn Coulter:
Gordon Ramsay is my lover.
7/17/2008 2:16 AMThom Yorke:
i enjoy taking both my kids to various museum's
7/18/2008 8:48 PMin oxfords.. by walking with them,
i keep my sexy figure.
Nancy Grace:
Yall wrong for posting that lil fat boy pic on here. Let him eat his damn fries till he explodes. Not your worry. (Though that's some funny shit though)
7/21/2008 2:15 AMKobe Bryant:
Gordon,
7/28/2008 4:16 PMi'm sorry i missed the last episode when christina won. will it be aired again? i hope so. i'm glad you are able to cuss freely.
Kobe Bryant:
Gordon,
7/28/2008 4:16 PMi'm sorry i missed the last episode when christina won. will it be aired again? i hope so. i'm glad you are able to cuss freely.
Anonomous:
I watched the programme tonight for about the first time in my life because to be quite honest its fucking shite.
7/29/2008 5:07 PM&& I was absolutley appalled, my 10 year old brother was in the room whilst gordan ramsey ripped apart a puffin with his bare hands, the sick fuck, for a 'chef' i wouldnt even take a terd on your food and as for the programme being called the "f word" GET OVER IT. Its a god damn word. Your trying to gain attention in any way possible and for all the worng reasons, you really need to sort your life out and buy some pissing hair die you sad terdmunching twisted little Man.
Get off the T.v and get off your high bleeding horse.
Goodnight (:
Gordon Ramsay:
Learn to spell ANONYMOUS before you lecture me you illiterate wanker. And while you'RE improving youR tenuous grasp on what I'm afraid is your native language, CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL if you don't want someone to see what you're watching. TV is not a goddamn babysitter.
8/1/2008 5:21 PMParis Hilton:
So true
8/12/2008 3:07 PMJeremy:
Jesus fucking christ Gordo! I love your blog, but for fuck's sake, can you get off your ass and write another post?
If Jaime fucking Oliver keeps his blog fresh, then why can't you?
9/15/2008 9:19 AMIt's me, J:
How about stretching those cheese fries? Just take a half-portion of those cheese fries and top that on a bed of salad.
Anyways, when did you start calling them fries instead of chips?
9/28/2008 2:33 AMSTEVE H:
I would like to nominate Gordon Ramsay for the Darwin award. I think he deserves it because he is the stupidest I have seen on TV in any years.
10/30/2008 7:13 PMGordon Ramsay:
You fucking cretin. A person can only win a Darwin Award if they kill or sterilize themselves in a particularly stupid way.... something I'm sure you're well on your way to doing. Probably with a piece of farm machinery. And no, I will not hold your beer for you.
10/30/2008 8:19 PMSavannah Betty:
Chef Ramsay,
11/9/2008 12:46 AMI love the blog site, how funny can one man be? Any advice for a Mom, who has an aspiring son wanting to cook like Chef Ramsay?
What was the funniest Darwin Award you Read? Latest one I found was Bench press.
Savannah Betty:
Chef Ramsay,
11/9/2008 12:47 AMI love the blog site, how funny can one man be? Any advice for a Mom, who has an aspiring son wanting to cook like Chef Ramsay?
What was the funniest Darwin Award you Read? Latest one I found was Bench press.
Bill Gates:
Oh I love those biting bitty bitchy comments not just a fucking bitty bit but by bytes and a lot of them, like Terrabytes, Gordon, not a bit of you biting comment to any bitchy bitch is offending you Fucking ranting shithead BIG CHEF from te UK. I LOVE the way you try to tell people off. One thing just, you bitchy bytehead. If you think you are arrogant you are wrong. I, BILL GATES who invented not just the GATES at airports invented arrogance, and you, f*cking stupid great chef are not even a good student. I love your fuckhead.
12/9/2008 5:25 PMAlex Rodriguez:
Everyone should get up get active and work out. I mean com'on look at me strong, sexy, and in denial. Still Gordon, if you tell everyone to become thin, then i have noone to cheer me on. Most of my fans are big fat hotdog eating assholes
12/14/2008 12:54 PMMichael Phelps:
Hey gordon love the blog have any great new recipies i can try?
12/19/2008 4:54 PMvickiec:
Gordon Ramsay is THE MOST passionate chef and amazing man!!!! AND has the best sense of humor. All in one package --amazing. If only 2 % of men could present themselves as well as Gordon!! God bless you
12/25/2008 10:36 PMvickiec:
why don't you degenerates work on yourselves instead of fucking with almost near perfection!!!
12/25/2008 10:39 PMvito:
ay... this blog is cooked to fuck, man...but it wants some new ideas for some new menu.. hey as Gordon being blamed that he fucked behind Tara´s back... man that´s tough. please make some more blog entries, it´s fabulous!!!
1/15/2009 5:24 PMAn Aussie Mum:
Sincerely thanks for your posts. Being raised on Wonder Bread I didn't have a clue that bread wasn't suppose to be white. But for the record I feed myself and my kids Multi grain.
Hoping to learn more for you Gordon. Thanks
1/19/2009 2:10 AMAnime Freak:
just so you know, this is all fake, you cant learn ANYTHING from it
2/26/2009 2:45 PMSarah Palin:
You killed a puffin with your bare hands? Man I would have loved to rip that little fuckers head off right with you.
2/7/2009 2:10 PMGordon Ramsay:
fuck bread - eat dirt!..... i did ! look at me now - 12 michelin men and counting...
www.gordonramsay.co.nr
2/16/2009 3:14 PMSandra in Chicago:
Wow!!! Would absolutely love to see you and Tony Bourdain get into it in a culinary challenge, verbal-cerebral knock'em-out, drag'em through fisticuffs -- with a limited number of ingredients from which to cook with; say a half of a pumpkin, 2 cans of sauerkraut, grape jam and a loaf of Wonder Bread!! What'cha gonna do with that, Big Boy?
3/13/2009 2:48 PMcookingschoolconfidential.com:
Perhaps they are busy teaching their children to speak properly.
(Oh, bother. Don't mean to be rude, but different people have different strengths. You speak appallingly, but you cook like a dream. Maybe, in other households, they speak beautifully but can't cook. Perhaps it would be more helpful if you wrote another cookbook instead of spewing your particular brand of venom. Meant as a friendly nudge, not as a snap.)
Cheers!
3/22/2009 4:47 PM