First of all, I want to quell any notion that I’m supporting Sally Jesse Raphael as my talk show host of choice for purely vindictive reasons, which, it’s been suggested, is Bill’s and my MO.

It’s just that Oprah is terrible and owes all her success to Sally Jesse – the first woman to host a daytime talk show, and also the most dynamic, thought-provoking, and curiously sassy. If you haven’t visited Sally’s website of her syndicated radio show (they are doing some real neat things with fade away graphics), you must.

From Sally’s site: “You go to school, you get a master’s degree, you study Shakespeare and you wind up being famous for plastic glasses…go figure.” I would argue she also inspired a generation of middle-aged professional woman not to worry too much about their hair.

Ricki Lake is another talk show host who was vying for my support. Ultimately I felt that despite her frequent denouncements of racism, the subjects in which she chose to fill her show – uneducated, hostile pugilists from socioeconomic problem areas – only reinforced those very stereotypes she spoke out against. Also Ricki no longer has a show, which made supporting her difficult.

I would also like to act peremptorily and officially allege my support to dogs, chocolate, sex, and, depending on the strength of the anti-depressant lobby, happiness.