A mother was sentenced to twenty years behind bars for locking her seventeen-year-old adopted son in a CAGE and nearly STARVING him to death. Now, as a mother myself, I can understand the impluse to lock a son in a cage for a while: The crying, the talking, the UNCONTROLLABLE SEX DRIVE. And then there is the danger posed by the external world. (If I didn't have to worry about getting groped all the time, maybe I could have worn clothes to school like the rest of the girls in my grade, rather than a modified beekeeper's suit slathered with an anti-pheromonic jelly.)
But still, this mother went TOO FAR. The boy was found weighing only 49 pounds. I can lift 49 pounds with one hand! (I also found out I can lift the back end of a car with one hand after I went into a rage-fueled adrenaline rush when an unsuspecting woman got between me and my babies in a parking lot, but that's another story.) Clearly the abuse left a physical toll, but just imagine the emotional toll! He may look shattered on the outside, but his head is probably throbbing with angular metallic alterna-rock guitar riffs and embarrassing teenage lyrical cries for help.
Friends, we survived Smashing Pumpkins the first time. Can we really put ourselves through that mopey self-serious crap again?