It was my Birthday, yesterday -- not that you noticed. No cards, no letters, nobody even hit up my secret facebook page! I don't have a single comment on my wall! What the fuck, people?
Maybe you should think sometimes, okay? I'm fifty two years old. I don't need a lot for my birthday. I'm not asking for aything fancy (though I've been looking through the Rolex catalogue lately... pretty nice), frankly, I'm at that age where I don't really know what I'd ask you for anyway. All I want for my birthday is a little acknowledgement.
"Hey Osama! Happy 52!" Would that have been so hard? "And you smell like one too! Just kidding, man! Happy B-Day!!" That would have done the job. But nothing. Nothing.
Maybe if I'd gotten some birthday wishes, I would have changed my views on the whole "death to the capitalist pigs" thing. You think of that? I mean, probably that wouldn't have happened, but you don't know that! If Barack had called me up, "O! Heard it's your birthday. Wanted to wish you a good one." I wouldn't have declined the call. He could have called collect, I'd have accepted the charges, okay? I would have accepted the charges.
Nothing.
It makes a man want to blow up buildings.
Anthony Santella:
Birthday I hope that you rot in hell you piece of chit if the armed forces woud let me and a few fellows there would be nothing but a body but they would rather dend 30,000.00 troups out after you Ican't even call you Mr. you are the smallest person in the earth and believe me you think Saddam got off easy you got another thing coming I myself would drag you along with 7 other comondo's with me to put yopur sorry ass in the nose. if the government eants me to do something I will do it just ask as I have posted before about the training of 9 total people training in the everglades to meet the dangerious ammount in Afagn. if they suppply me with the needs I have to have to get you I will have you back in merica within 4 months top you are notrhing but a piece af dirt I kick off my shoes ladin. and let me tell you one thing get ready for one hell of a trip I think you would rather die then the way I will bring you back I never forgot about you or the Bushes you both had it going onm until the deal went bad , so I give the united states of America to please let me loose with my crew with the bounty of 150 million dead or alive it's hius choice please take this serious I wopuld not waste my time to write this down for your sorry ass
3/13/2009 7:01 AMBritney Spears:
Geez, Mr. Santella! You sure put together a great sentence!
3/13/2009 11:08 AMDan Brown:
Man oh man! You know your writing is bad when Britney Spears makes fun of your grammar!
3/13/2009 7:15 PMprzeprowadzki:
Thanks for the article
3/14/2009 4:18 AMOprah Winfrey:
That is very dumb. Who made it up?
3/15/2009 5:06 PMOprah Winfrey:
That is very dumb. Who made it up?
3/15/2009 5:06 PMdreams:
that is too funny
3/18/2009 8:56 AMDalai Lama:
The people of afghanistan don't celebrate birthdays after 18- I would have found this funny but since it's based on the assumption that everyone in the world does what we do- it's not. Sorry.
3/19/2009 8:36 PMOsama bin Laden:
Dal, buddy, you do know I'm Saudi, right?
3/19/2009 10:01 PMAnonymous:
( I'm fifty two years old. I don't need a lot for my birthday. )
happy birthday to you bin laden ,, and I hope to you along and happy life ..
3/24/2009 5:54 AMdreams:
( I'm fifty two years old. I don't need a lot for my birthday. )
3/24/2009 5:57 AMhappy birthday to you bin laden ,, I hope to you along and happy life ..
Samuel L. Jackson:
Are you motherfucking high? First, you can't seem to decide whether you want to fucking post anonymously or you want to use some little girlie handle like "Dreams." Second, you wish this camel-fucking, hope-sucking mass murderer a "happy birthday" and "a long and happy life?!?" This makes me so motherfucking mad, I may just terrorize the happy couple neighbors on the other side of my house, just to work that got damn rage out.
Here are Sam Jack's wishes -
3/24/2009 3:13 PMTo Camel-Fucker: A slow and painful motherfucking death followed by eternal motherfucking damnation where you share the hottest motherfucking pit in hell with an armed Dick Cheney and a horny Richard Simmons.
To "Dreams:" An ass-whipping followed by a lifetime stay in a little rubber room, where you can drool the rest of your motherfucking days away, you short-memoried shit stain. And your only visitation will be in the form of a monthly visit from Christian Bale, who is always under the mistaken impression that you are kin trying to get a motherfucking loan from him.
charles powell:
Pay less for those big ticket items I Gar-on- tee !!!!
3/26/2009 12:00 AMShop online and pay less..
www.myshoppinggenie.com/capowell
Flavor Flav:
Yo happy b day my sand nigga up north! Keep up the good work and chase whitey the fuck outta yo town. I pour a 40 on the curb fo yo ass; peace!
3/26/2009 10:55 PMSamuel L. Jackson:
I am going to shove that motherfucking crown straight up your motherfucking ass, you illiterate, geographically-challenged cunt rag. What is wrong with you fucking people? And "up north?" That motherfucker's as far south as a motherfucker can be. I now revise my birthday wish for Camel-Fucker: In addition to eternal damnation accompanied by armed Cheney-rage and horny Richard Simmons-rape, I now also hope Flav is there to repeatedly whisper incomprehesible bullshit in Camel-Fucker's ear while he's being filled with motherfucking holes and having one particular motherfucking hole filled.
3/27/2009 10:17 AMOsama bin Laden:
Sam... after all we've been through... Not even a little happy birthday wish? I understand, you want me dead, but one day of the year. That's all I'm saying. It's my one day. We'll see if I buy your next DVD. That'll show you.
3/27/2009 3:27 PMCourtney Love:
there are 27 TWENTY SEVEN bin Ladens inthe USA< there are no other people named Osama and there is certainly not a name "LADIN" AS IN OSAMA CICCONE LADIN. KAY?
NOW there are NO bin ladens in Ohio or New Jersey are you WITH ME?
i am f***ing SHOCKED to see the STUPIDIDTY of some of your comments.
HAVE YOU EVER READ A BOOK?
DO YOU REALISE WE ARE IN A DEPRESSION?
ARE YOU F***ING BRAINDEAD?
MORTGAGE FRAUD IS A 4 TRILLION DOLLAR A YEAR INDUSTRY
DO YOU UNDERF***INGSTAND?
DO YOU?
3/29/2009 6:24 AMSamuel L. Jackson:
Who in the fuck are you talking to and what in the fuck are you talking about? I don't motherfucking care about no motherfucking "bin Ladens" in the U.S. I only motherfucking care about the motherfucking Bin Laden who is a mass murderer. You know, Court, this just goes to show that a heroin addict who just may have killed her baby's daddy should perhaps motherfucking focus on the more mundane questions of the day and leave the big picture questions like the economy and terorrism for the adults who don't fucking feel compelled to self-censor the own motherfucking comments. Now, motherfucker, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? DO YOU? Parenthetically, fuck you Bin Laden, go to hell; I hear Richard Simmons has a fitted gimp suit down there for ya.
4/1/2009 1:20 PMdreams:
just say to him we hope to you ahappy day
4/5/2009 8:57 AMdreams:
happy birthday to all of you
4/5/2009 8:59 AM