Honestly I'm sick of it, y'all. How many black guys are you going to compare me to?

I feel like my life consists of having sex with my body guads, making sure my kids aren't dead, then disproving that I'm an influential and historically significant black guy.

First it was Frederick Douglas, and I had to prove that I'm functionally illiterate. (I write my blog posts in elbow macaroni and my assistant translates.)

Then it was W.E.B. Du Bois, and I had to show that I only had a supporting role in creating the N.A.A.C.P.

And after that Malcolm X. But y'all know I would never recommend becoming militant to achieve one's means.

The only similarity that I can see between Barack and me -- and this is a stretch -- we have similar ideas about social security reform.