Yes, Dannii Minogue, I will date you. But I have some conditions that need to be met first.

-- Plan your monthly cycles around my tour schedule. I know, this sounds mean, and it probably is, but I only mean it out of kindness. I want the most of our time together when I'm not touring.

-- Be prepared to listen to me talk about sneakers and watches and which Apple widgets are better than others.

-- Know the difference between real Chanel handbags and a knock-off purchased at a mall kiosk in Malibu. You might not think it's important, but you may run into an ex of mine who knows the difference.

-- Sometimes men wear make-up. It is okay. It is nothing to get upset about. Sometimes a man has a pimple, or needs a visual pick-me-up after a late night in a smoky concert stadium (espresso and bubble baths don't always cut it).

-- Two words: Plaid and Stockings.