I haven't gotten many phone calls lately, so I just wanted everyone to know that my phone number is still the same. I know a while ago, I lost my phone. So you're probably still thinking I can't be reached. You guys can all start calling me again.

Also, I'll still be at Rafio's Steakhouse on Friday night at 9, and probably leaving with a waitress around 10:15. I'm punctual, but you guys probably remember that. I only bring this up because the last time I was at Dan Tanna's and at Julie Wong-Diaz there was no one out there taking pictures. It took me a minute to remember what it was like walking to my car without being photographed. I ironed my shirt for nothing.

Come to think of it, I also haven't been photographed near or in my car lately, too. I was trying to tell Heidi Klum about this, but she just kept yelling, "I can't hear you! Take off your pants!" So I did. I think she finally got the message. She was one of the people who had basically forgotten about me.

Which brings me to you. You, too, have forgotten about me. I haven't gotten fan mail, panties thrown on stage, girls requesting to cut off some of my hair, or anonymous notes from an NFL player threatening to "kick my lily ass." Just wanted all of you to know that I still have the same email address, the same phone number, the same address, I drive the same car, I frequent the same Apple Store, and I gas up my car at the same place every Saturday at 2:00 pm.