Associated Press

I landed the cover of the Hollywood Reporter yesterday. Says, “Kiefer Sutherland is probably the best male actor on TV.”

Probably?

Name another actor who can kill people, but also cry. Name a fucking actor who can even cry. Steve Carell? Yeah it’s so difficult to run a small paper company. Dr. McFuckface from Grey’s anatomy? I’m sending the bastards TO the hospital, and I’m sending others to the grave … while being TORTURED. Even that little Asian coward from Heroes can’t say that.

PROBABLY the best actor? Doesn’t make a difference to me anyway. I’m not in it for the glory. If I were, I’d be dead by now.