So George W. Bush finally opens his mouth to state the got-damn obvious: “I was unprepared for war,” the Dumbfuck-in-Chief tells us, like we didn’t have a got-damn clue.

Thanks, George. Thanks for letting us know eight years later that your soused ass wasn’t prepared to accomplish the most important thing we elected you for. What else were you unprepared to do? Run a got-damn country? Speak in a coherent got-damn sentence? Balance a got-damn budget?

About the economic crisis--surely you’re familiar with it?--GWB said this:

"I'm sorry it's happening, of course," Bush said in a wide-ranging interview with ABC's "World News".... "Obviously I don't like the idea of people losing jobs, or being worried about their 401(k)s. ... I mean, we're in."

Do you even know what the fuck a 401(k) is? Hint: it ain’t  401 kilos of Colombia’s finest. A 401(k) is what happens when your parents run out of oil.

And “I mean, we’re in”? What's this "we" shit? This ain’t your show no more, you know what I’m saying? The fact that you’re finally talking like a normal human being instead of some megalomaniacal moron says to me that you’ve excused yourself from the Oval Office and are already clearing some metaphorical brush out in Texas. You don’t give two shits about nothing more than your ability to get some post-Presidential speaking engagements and a few book deals.

Christ on a donkey, every time I hear your voice I almost stroke out. Listening to you talk for ten seconds is like listening to Sarah Palin talk for ten minutes. You make ‘stupid’ seem like a got-damn virtue, and ‘pathetic’ seem like a got-damn achievement.