Now that Christopher got-damn Buckley has decided to endorse my man Obam, I'm going to the Barr. It’s a hard thing for me, but I’m withdrawing my premature endorsement of Barack Obama. Instead, I’m now a Bob Barr-man.
But before y'all get all “But Sam Jack, you’ve been an Obama supporter for damn near three months,” let me just say that this shit didn’t come easy. I thought about it long and hard.
When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one people-- Buckleys, for instance--to dissolve the political bands which have connected them to other got-damn Republicans and to take up with the leader of their political enemies, all I can say is, "Holy fucking shit."
And it ain't just Christopher Buckley. It's a whole got-damn bunch of conservative Republicans. Christopher Hitchens, a Bush apologist and current Obama supporter. Dennis Hopper, so got-damn Republican he was in An American Carol shooting members of the ACLU with a rifle, is now “praying” for an Obama win. George Will, David Brooks, and Bill Kristol are giving Obama tacit got-damn endorsements by refusing to slime the brother.
I can’t side with turncoat Republicans. So fuck it. I’m now Barr all the way. Don’t make no got-damn difference that the motherfucker looks like Bert from "Sesame Street"--I’m bellying up to the got-damn Barr, and leaving Barack Obama behind before Ann Coulter emerges from her deep dank crypt and throws her own endorsement into the Obama ring.
Some shit just ain’t meant to be. And having the spawn of William F. Buckley endorse a Democrat just ain’t right. Next thing you know, Al Sharpton will be supporting Nader, and then we’re gonna be in a world of got-damn shit. Cats and dogs living together type shit.