Hello.  I am Tiger Woods, binary-code #101101000.

Recently, you witnessed a competition involving me and numerous other professional golfers. The purpose of this competition was to propel a sphere into 18 various repositories that are a given distance from the staging area for said sphere using the fewest number of propulsions.

The latest contest of skill in which I participated was called the "U.S. Open."  As you no doubt witnessed, I exercised the fewest number of propulsions in depositing said sphere into each repository. 

I am obligated to congratulate my mortal competitors on a match well-played.  Their propulsions were exemplary, even notwithstanding various flaws which I have recorded in detail in the pamphlets located under your seats.

Because of a short-circuit -- injury -- that I sustained several weeks ago, I also delivered a flawed series of propulsions that contributed to the closeness of the latest match.