Hello. I am Tiger Woods, binary-code #101101000.
Recently, you witnessed a competition involving me and numerous other professional golfers. The purpose of this competition was to propel a sphere into 18 various repositories that are a given distance from the staging area for said sphere using the fewest number of propulsions.
The latest contest of skill in which I participated was called the "U.S. Open." As you no doubt witnessed, I exercised the fewest number of propulsions in depositing said sphere into each repository.
I am obligated to congratulate my mortal competitors on a match well-played. Their propulsions were exemplary, even notwithstanding various flaws which I have recorded in detail in the pamphlets located under your seats.
Because of a
short-circuit -- injury -- that I sustained several weeks ago, I also delivered a flawed series of propulsions that contributed to the closeness of the latest match.