This is Vladimir Putin, Ruler of the Universe writing to you now. Maybe you have heard that a young upstart will be taking the seat as President of the United States next week. Maybe you are also asking yourself, "what's the big deal?"
You're saying, look at both of their bodies. Compare and contrast them. Putin has huge muscles. His chest is firm and imposing. His nipples jut out like beautiful pink mountains. His biceps are twin phenoms, and no one is sure why or how they became so powerful, similar to the Olsen Twins.
Obama has saggy, black boobs. He looks like a girly man frolicking in the sea, about to pee his pants. He has no muscles, and is about to tumble over from the tiny waves approaching.